


First Kiss

by alwaysthewoman



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-03-23
Packaged: 2018-01-16 18:05:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1356949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysthewoman/pseuds/alwaysthewoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It wouldn’t really be our first kiss.”<br/>“Yeah, it would be."</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little thing inspired by that [First Kiss](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpbDHxCV29A) video (and the [other version](http://vimeo.com/89189517) that I prefer). I can't believe that's what inspired my first Boosh fic, but I just had to do it.

The woman who walked into the Nabootique that Tuesday morning (before Vince had decided to grace Howard with his presence) had an artistic look to her that led Howard to believe she’d be the perfect target for his sales pitch. She quickly brushed off his spiel about jazz pencil cases, however, with a pitch of her own.

“I’m trying to find some volunteers to be in a film piece,” she said. “Any chance you’d be interested?”

“Ah, well, you’ve come to the right place! For I, Howard Moon, am an experienced actor of stage and screen.”

“Oh, really? Anything I’d have seen you in?”

“Er, well... no. Probably not.”

She smiled. “Well that’s better for me, anyway, ‘cause you don’t need to be an actor. We’re just looking for some normal people. It’s a bit of a strange one, though. We’re doing something like that ‘first kiss’ video, have you seen it? The one where a bunch of strangers have to kiss for the first time in front of a camera?”

Howard shook his head.

“Really? It’s all over the internet. There’ve been a few versions now, but we wanted to do one with a bit more of a quirky, local feel. Not all gorgeous, straight models and actors, you know?”

Howard nodded, not entirely sure if he should be insulted.

“Anyway, here’s the details if you want to come along,” the woman continued, handing him a flyer. “Have some fun, snog a stranger. Just like a good night out, hey?”

Howard laughed uncomfortably. “I’ll, ah, have a think about it. If I’m not too busy, you know.”

 

 

When Vince finally arrived at the shop, Howard hastily shoved the flyer into his pocket. He’d been reading it repeatedly since the woman had left.

“What time do you call this?” Howard asked, and Vince rolled his eyes.

“What, have you been rushed off your feet without me?”

Howard frowned at him. “Well, since you’re finally here, I’m going to go upstairs and have some lunch.”

As Vince flipped open a magazine, Howard headed up the stairs to the flat. He went straight to the old computer in the corner of their shared bedroom to find this famous ‘First Kiss’ video. He wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. Surely two complete strangers would only give each other a gentle kiss on the lips? They couldn’t possibly all be happy sticking their tongues in each other’s mouths when they knew nothing about the other person.

As Howard watched the video he felt an unusual mix of emotions. It was amusing and quite sweet, but he also felt a pang of sadness at what he’d missed in his almost 33 years, and a hint of envy that these people, despite some initial awkwardness, could kiss complete strangers with such passion and ease. He couldn’t imagine ever being able to do that, and the only time he’d experienced anything even remotely similar...

“Howard!”

He jumped as Vince’s voice rang throughout the flat, and quickly closed the browser as if he’d been caught watching something much dirtier. When he went downstairs, he found that Vince wanted his assistance reaching something on a high shelf.

“Have you never heard of a ladder?” he asked, but reached up to fetch the box.

“In these boots? You’re joking, aren’t you? Besides, what’s the point of having a lanky, Northern mate around if he can’t get things off high shelves for you?”

Shaking his head, Howard handed the box over.

“There you go, little man.”

“Thanks, Howard,” Vince said, with a smile.

As Howard’s eyes landed on Vince’s slightly glossy pink lips he couldn’t help but think of their never-again-mentioned rooftop kiss. It wasn’t what a first kiss was supposed to be like – he’d just sat there, stunned, and let Vince go at it – but even then he’d felt something not quite like anything he’d felt before.

Howard realised he had probably been staring at Vince a moment too long as Vince’s smile turned into a hint of a frown.

“Howard?”

“I’m going to go finish my lunch,” Howard said hurriedly, and Vince watched in confusion as he dashed up the stairs.

 

 

Howard had located the entrance to the small film studio several minutes ago, but kept losing his nerve and walking past it, only to turn around and come back again. He had decided, after tossing and turning for much of the previous night, that the video presented a rare opportunity for him to get a proper first kiss under his belt. He couldn’t help but feel that the unspoken significance of the kiss with his best friend and flatmate was contributing to the recent strain in their relationship. If Howard could kiss someone else, it might not be so uncomfortable, and it would provide him with some much-needed experience. There was also the added bonus that if he made a fool of himself, he could blame the awkwardness of the unusual situation. Besides, it was basically acting, and he was an experienced actor.

He steeled himself as he walked back toward the studio, and finally opened the door. He approached the reception desk.

“Hi, I’m here for the kiss video.”

The young man shoved a piece of paper and a pen at him.

“Go wait through that door, and fill this out,” he said, pointing at the door to his left.

As Howard sat in the waiting room with his completed consent form, he looked around at the dozen or so people with him and wondered if any of them would be the one he would be kissing. There was a pretty girl in a leather jacket sitting opposite him, with big, blue eyes and long, dark hair. Just as he was imagining what it would be like to kiss her, the woman from the shop walked in.

“Hi, everyone! Thank you so much for volunteering today. The people you’ll be kissing are waiting in the other room, to keep it a surprise, so I’m sorry if you’ve had your eye on anyone in here! Now, if I could get you in a line and grab those forms off you, we’ll get started!”

Howard shuffled into the line with everyone else. He could feel his palms beginning to sweat. The woman was walking down the line, taking forms and occasionally rearranging the order of the volunteers. She stopped in front of Howard.

“Oh, hello!” she said, smiling as she took his form. Howard attempted to smile in return. “Do you mind if you’re kissing a man or a woman?”

Feeling himself blushing, Howard shook his head. The woman glanced at her clipboard.

“Wonderful, you can stay there.”

Once she’d worked her way through the line, crew members began blindfolding the volunteers one at a time and leading them out of the room. Howard’s heart was pounding as the minutes passed and he approached the front of the line. This was worse than the chokes. He felt uncomfortably aware of all his limbs, couldn’t figure out where to put his hands, and kept thinking of how the people in the video had all touched each other so casually. What if he didn’t like the person they brought out for him? What if the person didn’t like him? Where was he supposed to put his hands as they kissed? He couldn’t remember what he’d done with them on the roof with Vince. Probably nothing, he wouldn’t have touched him like the people in the video did.

Suddenly he realised the person in front of him had been blindfolded and led away. One of the crew members, an older woman with a kind face, stood in front of him.

“Hello, lovely. You ready to do this? I’ll pop the blindfold on and lead you in there, then you can take it off and have a bit of a chat with the person you’ll be snoggin’, if you want, then go for it whenever you’re ready. Try and go for about thirty seconds, but obviously you can stop if you’re not happy. Alright?”

Howard thought he nodded. The woman smiled, and looked through the door behind her.

“Right, here we go. Pop this on,” she said, handing him the blindfold. He tied it behind his head. The woman gently touched his arm to lead him forward and he resisted the urge to shake her off, his feet moving seemingly of their own accord. He could hear the film crew moving around, and what he thought sounded like the slightly uncertain, clip-clopping footsteps of a blindfolded person in heels walking toward him. A woman, then. Hopefully that would help with the confusion he’d felt since his 32nd birthday. The footsteps stopped, and his guide let go of his arm.

“Right, blindfolds off.”

His arms didn’t want to move. He thought he might faint as his heart pounded in his ears.

“Oh, my sweet lord.”

The familiar voice shocked him into action and he quickly reached up to pull off the blindfold.  The source of the footsteps was none other than his infuriating best friend, staring up at him with impeccably lined blue eyes. They stared at each other for what seemed, to Howard at least, like an eternity. He didn’t know what to do, and Vince seemed equally baffled.

“Everything all right?” someone from the crew asked, and Vince blinked. He smiled over at the crew.

“Yeah, I just wasn’t expecting someone so handsome is all. I’m Vince,” he added, looking back to Howard and holding his hand out. Howard glanced at the offered hand then back up to his friend’s face. The look in his eyes was pleading, but there was a challenge in his smile.

“Howard Moon,” Howard said, shaking Vince’s hand.

Vince stepped forward, putting his hands on Howard’s hips. He leaned up to speak softly in Howard’s ear.

“We gonna do this or what?”

His breath was warm on Howard’s ear, and a shiver ran down Howard’s spine.

“It wouldn’t really be our first kiss,” he replied, as quietly as possible, barely moving his lips.

“Yeah, it would be,” Vince said, moving back. He kept his hands on Howard’s hips and looked up at him, licking his lips.

Howard looked down at the man with whom he’d been to school, worked, lived and shared a bedroom. The man who had once literally been to hell and back for him. The man whose ridiculous hair products cluttered his bathroom. The man whose perfectly manicured hands felt like they were burning Howard’s hips, constantly touching him as they always did, despite Howard’s protests.

Howard reached out with one hand and cupped Vince’s face, fingers sliding into his soft hair. Vince’s eyes fluttered shut as Howard leaned in and kissed him with as much confidence as he could muster. Vince tasted of lip gloss and a trace of minty toothpaste. His lips parted further and his head tilted to match Howard’s as his fingers dug into Howard’s hips.

Howard tried to emulate the powerful leading men he’d seen in classic movies, as different from his passive role in their last kiss as he could be. He wrapped his other arm around Vince, his large hand at the base of his friend’s slender back, and pulled Vince into him. Vince gave a faint moan against Howard’s mouth, his hands sliding up Howard’s back. Howard wanted to cheer in triumph.

He could have kept going for hours, but with their hips grinding against each other, Howard eventually realised they needed to stop or they’d be in an embarrassing situation. He slowly dragged his teeth off Vince’s top lip. Vince’s eyes were still closed, long lashes resting on flushed cream skin. His breathing was heavy, and he seemed to be relying on Howard’s hand to hold him up. Howard had rarely seen him look so unravelled, and could hardly believe his kiss had been responsible. He ran his thumb over Vince’s cheekbone, and his friend opened his eyes.

Vince looked up at him in silence for a moment, then cleared his throat and took a step back. He tottered slightly on his heeled boots and glanced over at the film crew.

“Well that was alright, wasn’t it?” he laughed, shakily. “Thanks, uh... Howard, did you say?”

Howard swallowed. “Yeah. Vince?”

“Yeah. Wow. We’ll have to do that again sometime, yeah?”

Howard chuckled. “Yes. Yes, I think we should.”


End file.
